This was a very emotional weekend. We buried William's mother Lauana Rogers Payne.
She was an amazing woman. We have been praying for a while now that Heavenly Father would take her home. She has suffered with Alzheimer's disease for at least 12 years now. I didn't think I would cry much because we have all accepted the fact that she would pass away soon. However, after my sisters in law and I finished dressing her for her burial, I got a little teary-eyed. I started to think of all the years of grand mothering she has missed out on and all the years of being close to her I missed out on. She was very good to me and I wish I could have had more years of getting to know her and have her at all the family events. She has missed out on all the milestones in our family and knowing the woman she was if she was able that would never have been ok. This is a disease that affects everyone. It robs everyone of cherished memories that could have been.
However, the comfort I received is in believing in the plan of salvation and the atonement of our Savior. We have been sealed in the temple as eternal families. That blessing will be mine if I can be the kind of woman she was. I want to be selfless. I want to have hobbies that bless the lives of everyone around me. I want to give to others even when I have little of my own to give. I was to give of time to my family with no thought of me time. I want to love my husband unconditionally no matter how hard that may be at times. She was this kind of example. She was truly a righteous woman and I am proud to be her daughter in law.
