A Lot to Think About...

Hmmm... Lately I have had a ton on my mind and I haven't been sleeping well. Ok once I fall asleep I am great but I used to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Now I think it takes me at least 5 to 10 minutes to crash. I think my mind is having a hard time winding down. Some of my worries lately and things on my to do list are these.

• Getting my house website finished with pictures loaded.
• My brand new 250GB external hard drive is already full with movies I converted and added to my Ipod. Now I have to delete them or get another hard drive to be able to download my new Photoshop program I got for Christmas so I can download the pictures off of my camera.
• I have had to keep the house clean just in case someone calls to see it. (no interest BTW)
• I got the garage totally cleaned out and organized.
• I finally decided to take Mason out of the free preschool program he was in for many reasons. And I am now taking him 1 day per week to his old preschool at Calvary Baptist Church. He loved it there last year and it starts at 9 am instead of 8. That will be easier.
• I had to renew my kids medicaid applications before their current benefits expire.
• William and I finally got medical insurance coverage which is so important cause I need to get new glasses, dental work done (I lost a filling), and a mamogram, Yikes! William needs to get a PSA test done since he is a high risk of prostate cancer.
• I stress over how long the rest of our savings will last. (Maybe till Summer if I am careful.) Me, careful with money is a hard thing. I can do it but it is tough.
• I am taking Richard back to court to increase his child support which I should have done back in 2005. Dang, 4 years he has been so lucky. That is going to be a huge fight I expect and I am dreading it. But it needs to be done for Makenna's sake. She is getting expensive.
• Oh BTW, she is showing signs of entering "womanhood" soon. Ugh! It came so soon.
• ok and one more thing that keeps me awake at night. I really want Mason to have a brother but I am NOT baby hungry and I don't want to be pregnant again. So I have to decide how much I really want him to have a brother. I can't be sick right now while I am alone in raising the kids and selling our home. I just don't know how much is too much to expect of my children. I swore we were done and gave everything away. I guess it is time to really pray about this. Not just IF we should have another but WHEN. I really don't want to go back to the baby stages of life. All my kids are potty trained and I love that I am going to be able to get rid of some car seats soon.

Ok does that sound like rambling to you! Me too. That is what my mind does nearly every night. Some nights are worse than others. The good thing though is that a bunch of the pressing things I have had to do are done and my kids are actually doing pretty well with keeping the house clean lately so I now have more down time than I used to. I have scrapbooked a little at my girlfriends houses. I have done a couple of puzzles during the holidays that my mom gave me and I am just getting around to putting them together years later. I also have some time to read and I watch more TV than normal too. There are only a couple good things about William being gone. I don't have to share the big TV. Hehe! And I can stress less about cleaning and having dinner ready when he comes home from work. Other than that I am missing him so much. You getting this Honey? I love you and miss you terribly. I am letting Liberty get into the terrible habit of sleeping with me cause I hate his side of the bed being empty. I hope we can live together again soon. Please everyone who prays at all say a little prayer for us selling our home. We need all the prayers we can get.

Ok it is 3:26 am Saturday morning and I am awake and rambling. I did however fall asleep on the couch for about an hour earlier this evening. Ok I better get to bed before Liberty gets up.