They say you are only as old as you feel. Well, today I feel old. I am now 33! I don't know where time has been going the last few years. That is a feeling my mom and grandma always told me would happen. Now it is happening too fast for me to enjoy.
I am having a good day today but I am a little sad too. I am having a bunch of realizations that my life just isn't where I hoped it would be at age 33. I wanted to have 6 kids by age 35 and we are done at 5 kids. So that is a good thing. But being done has me feeling older. And the fact that Makenna is almost 11 years old makes me feel old too. I will have 3 children in school this year. Wow that is more than half of my clan. Andthe biggest thing making me feel olf today is that I have lost a bunch of weight. Yes I know that is a good thing. In spite of the weight lose I am fatter than I have ever been while not pregnant. Weird huh. I can explain it though. After having Liberty I dropped my weight and worked out on my Ab Lounge religiously. Since allergy season started I have quit working on my tummy. The thing is all my pants are getting bigger on me but my belly is hanging over the top. And it is VERY jiggly. So instead of having baby fat I have old lady fat. A high belly instead of a baby pooch. Yeah I guess that is from all the homemade cookies I have been devouring the past few weeks.
Ok off the fat tangent...I am feeling very inadequate as a mother some days and other days I feel like the worlds best mother. We had a lesson today in Relief Society about our children and our priorities. The bishop taught it and asked us whose side are we on. The Lord's or Satan's? It was interesting as he started explaining to us how we could tell whose side we are on he mentioned a bunch of things that I am seriously failing at as a mother. Well maybe not failing but I am barely passing with a C. So I was feeling very motivated to make some changes around my home. Then he said that we can tell whose side we are on by looking at our children. Do they repeat to us the things that we have taught them. Or do they show in their actions the kind of people we are teaching them to be. That made me feel good. I have had many compliments about my kids and how great they are. So I must be doing something right. I do have good kids and I decided that I have no reasons to get down on myself. I am surely not perfect but I am working toward it. And when I see my children and my life as a whole I may not be where I hoped to be but I am successful as a mother at least. My kids love me and Christ and that is all that matters.
Ok serious Ramblings here. Off to eat some cake and ice cream and then maybe get on my Ab Lounge in the morning.
3 years ago
1 comment:
happy late birthday, Deanna!!
dont feel old!! you are still very young at heart. you act like a kid sometimes. :) and you look really young, like you are 26.
your kids are great!! im actually really sad that i dont get to be with them all the time anymore. i miss watching them. it was really fun.
this past weekend i went to Goodyear to visit everyone, and it just made me feel really old...even though im only 15 i felt old. everyones kids are all grown up now! and all the young men and young women are all grown up too!! i had a lot of fun out there. i miss our sarival family. it was my home away from home. i really mis everyone being so friendly. here in Surprise the young women arent as friendly as the sarival girls...so anyways...im just blabbing away. take care!!!
<3 love,
Tiffany
Post a Comment